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“What were your thoughts and feelings associated w/the Breakdown?”

“Which one?”

“The One.”

“Which one was that?”

“Which do you think it was?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Really?”

“To me there were a lot of incidents leading up to the moment. There were already lots of problems. The final was no mystery to me. It was just part of a larger picture.”

“What symptoms did you notice?”

“Dizziness – lack of focus – low energy – Feet hurting. You had been complaining for months. For me the Breakdown, as you call it, was the moment I knew you weren’t going to make it through without help. A big change, but very clear to me.”

“What were your concerns?”

“First: treatment. Doctor, Podiatrist, Psychiatrist. Second: How does it impair our income? And what are the solutions to this? How will we work it out? And if you can’t go back to work, then what? I would be the sole source of income. Not a pleasant thought. Mixed in with these thoughts: Do you have a fatal illness and are you going to die? That can’t be underestimated as a source of concern.”

“When did that last concern disappear?”

“When your health improved.”

“With Bernard and my acupuncture sessions?”

“No. Not at all. You were still having feet pain and dizziness. I felt better after you started feeling better on a regular basis. As soon as that happened I knew that everything would fall into place.”

“Which was the last event?”

“The last event to put me in the Worry Zone was your night of work at the Lagoon. I began questioning your ability to work again.”

“That was a rough week.”

“That’s for sure.”

“Relapse after recovery is always the worst.”

“The worst was when you went to the beach after your acupuncture treatment without letting me know. You start to worry. Did you die? Did you have a car accident? Were you abducted by aliens? It wasn’t characteristic of you –– a big cause for worry – especially under the circumstances. It has happened before – a popup in your personality that happens from time to time, which is always incredibly worrisome, hence aggravating, irritating – It makes me mad.”

“What?”

“Your lack of consideration.”

“I was just thinking survival.”

“You could have called.”

“Not in my state.”

“That’s what concerned me.”

“It was a disaster night. It was very hard on my feet – perhaps because of the new shoes. This triggered the adrenal effect – heart racing, more pain, hard time focusing – indicative that I still wasn’t handling stress well. This made me mad that I was in this circumstance – which aggravated all the problems.”

“Not good.”

“Not at all. But then under the influence of Royal Jelly plus a new way of looking at things I have made steady, albeit discontinuous, progress to recovery.”

“You won’t be subjected to these triggers in the workplace at the Ranch.”

“Such as?”

“Out of control busy nights with managers hanging out or nowhere to be found.”

“Or 40% tip cut to the House on Banquets – – Sloppy service because the family management don’t know what they’re doing.

“Inaccessible wine because of disorganization.”

“The Ranch will be clean of these psychological triggers at least.”

“But the demons are still circulating.”

“Whadaya mean?”

Tired, underfed, frustrated, angry – anything that puts me in a diminished emotional state, makes me more susceptible”

“Diners, instead of the Banquet mill, tend to be more discriminating. But thank you Bernie.”

“Yes, I’m so grateful to the Cask for allowing me to work. This has enabled me to recuperate psychologically, emotionally and physically.”

“God bless, Bernie. Although I don’t believe in God, may all the forces out there, whoever are in charge, bless Bernie. Seriously.”